Mirror, Mirror on the Wall?
During this time of fresh new year’s resolutions, you might be using affirmations to help you stick to those goals. Here is one definition I found on the internet. “Affirmations are proven methods of self-improvement because of their ability to rewire our brains. Much like exercise, they raise the level of feel-good hormones and push our brains to form new clusters of ‘positive thought.’” My response to that is bullocks - as my English friends like to say.
I was taught to write them on sticky notes and place them on the mirror, all over the house, in the car, wherever you might see them and repeat them over and over. The only reason this technique ever made me feel better was that the mirror was so filled with sticky notes I could not see myself!
Stop Damaging your Self Worth Already!
Psychology professor Peter Herman and his colleagues have identified what they call the "false hope syndrome," which means that the desired outcome of your affirmation is significantly unrealistic and out of alignment with your internal view of yourself. In non-psychobabble, when you make positive affirmations about yourself that you don't believe, the positive affirmations not only don't work, they can be damaging to your self-worth. For instance, when I tell myself as an affirmation that “every day in every way people look up to me and recognize my worth; I am admired” and I see no evidence of this, there is the voice in my head that will shout: “BS!” Then it will begin to list all the reasons why I am not admired or valued and cite evidence. Now I feel like flushing my head down the toilet. 'The Ego' likes to be right even at the price of happiness.
Affirmations that Actually Work
Instead, you need to pacify the firm voice of the ego before you state your affirmation so that it does not hurt you with a comeback. It’s the spoon full of Stevia that makes the affirmation go down in the most delightful way. Here are the phrases you must put in front of your affirmations. “Despite the fact that people don’t look up to and admire me yet, I am in the process of becoming a person people look up to.” No, come back, right? Let’s do another one. “In spite of the fact that I continue to eat copious amounts of cookies every day, I am in the process of including vegetables into my daily diet.” One more for the road, shall we? “Despite the one truth that I am upset and annoyed John, the other truth is that I am in the process of becoming more peaceful with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.” Get it? I hope so.
Share with me what new improved affirmations you have come up with! And once you pair those with your passions for career and life and create your mind movie at my Ignite Your Business workshop or Personal Retreat, there will be no stopping you!!
I love what I do! Facilitating workshops, retreats, speaking, working with people and organizations to help them live lives of passion and engage in meaningful work makes me want to sing and dance.
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